Today is April 22, 2017.
Sorry I skipped yesterday. I really was feeling in the dumps. I didn’t even end up eating much. I had the rest of my soup from the day before and I also had 2 fish sticks. I just didn’t feel like eating much.
I had the almost the same breakfast as a couple days ago. A piece of bread, a tsp of margarine, a slice of cheese. I also had one probiotic yogurt. Nothing special.
Total calories is 270.
For lunch I had one cup of quinoa/rice mix, one cup of green/yellow beans and I had one fresh egg from a farm. I thought I’d try the eggs out. I fried it in 2 tsp of olive oil.
Total calories is 540.
For dinner we got surprised by my boyfriends mom to go to a&w and she would pay. I just got a blt chubby chicken burger cause it had a whole wheat bun and a small amount of veggies at least lol.
Total calories is 630.
Nothing to report.
Today I feel not happy but not like I was yesterday at least. I think getting over things takes some time. I just need to be gentle with myself I guess.
Today is April 20, 2017.
I don’t know how I feel today. I’ve been really lazy. I literally just finished 13 Reasons Why and I found it really good. As a person who struggles with depression, I like how it emphasizes the other people or circumstances that can cause someone to be depressed. They always focus on the person with depression but we never try and change the world so that people aren’t assholes or the fact that we should be acknowledging people’s emotions in general. The world tries to suppress their emotions but it makes people internalize it and makes people think that the world is against them and to say anything is seen as “weak.” Were forced to put on masks all the time and we shouldn’t. People need support and they need love. Think about someone you know and ask them if they are okay. Ask them if they need someone to listen. Ask them if they need support. You never know if this small act will save a life or if this small act will make someone feel love in a life where they feel isolated. We need more kindness, support and love in the world.
I had a really unhealthy breakfast today. Sometimes I just feel like eating dairy even though it causes me grief. (Pretty sure I’m lactose intolerant) I had two pieces of toast with 2 tsp of butter and 2 slices of cheese. I also had a probiotic yogurt.
Total calories is 450.
My lunch was a little bit healthier. I had 1 1/2 cups of salad with 1 tsp of olive oil and dulse flakes, 1 1/2 cups of frozen veggies and I also had cabbage roll soup. Here’s the link to the recipe: Cabbage Roll Soup.
Total calories is 554.
I ended up eating 4 pieces of pizza. I just gave up like usual.
Total calories? Who knows.
That show 13 Reasons Why really hit home. I finished watching it. Now I kind of just feel depressed cause I can relate to the main character on so many levels. Other than bullying or teenage life, her feelings are the same as mine. I think I understood her too much. I’ve kinda just spent all of the evening and even today (the next day) depressed. I’ve lost faith in people, lost trust, and I honestly just want to be alone.
Sorry if this blog is a day late. The previous paragraph will explain. I’ve been struggling with intense depression for awhile now. It’s something I’m trying to work through and do my best at. I’m sorry these blogs kind of took a down turn. You never know what life is going to throw at you and sometimes it’s really hard.